How to Prepare and Serve Garden Vermin

Do you see this picture? This is a picture of a squirrel trying to make a meal of my canna bulbs.

God Dammit! I am so tired of these vermin messing up my yard! The rabbits eat the flowers and veggies. The raccoons eat the fish. The squirrels eat the bulbs. It is just about time I ate a few of these beasts to recoup my losses!

Off to my trusty 1966 Woman’s Day Encyclopedia of Cookery I go. If it is not in these books, it probably tastes pretty good. Sure enough, I am able to find recipes for Roast Raccoon, Jugged Rabbit and Fricasseed Squirrel.

So for your fantasy cooking pleasure (or if you happen to have a crossbow sitting around and a pretty good aim), here are those recipes.

Jugged Rabbit

2 rabbits, about 3 lbs. each, cut up
2 carrots, diced
1 onion, stuck with 3 cloves
6 garlic cloves, peeled
1 bay leaf
6 peppercorns
2 cups coarsely chopped celery
2 cups dry red wine
water
3 tablespoons shortening
1 tablespoon tomato puree
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
8 slices of crisp bacon
8 whole mushrooms, sauteed
2 tablespoons minced parsley

Put meat into a big bowl with carrots, onion, garlic, bay leaf, peppercorns, celery, and wine. Add water to cover and allowed to marinate for 3 days. Remove pieces of meat from marinade and pat dry. Brown in shortening in a deep kettle. Add marinade, tomato puree, and salt. Simmer gently, covered for about 2 hours, or until meat is tender. Remove the meat and keep warm. Blend flour and 1/2 cup water. Stir into sauce. Bring just to boil. Strain through fine sieve. Add pieces of meat. Bring to boil again. Serve garnished with bacon and mushrooms sprinkled parsley. Makes 6 – 8 servings.

Roast Raccoon with Sweet Potato Stuffing

1 dressed raccoon, 4 to 5 lbs.
4 teaspoons salt
3 cups mashed sweet potatoes
3/4 cup seedless raisins
2 1/2 cups soft bread from crumbs
1 3/4 cups peeled diced apples
1/4 cup corn syrup
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
1/4 teaspoon pepper

From the raccoon, remove the waxy nodules, commonly referred to as “kernels,” from under each front leg on either side of the spine in the small of the back. Wash meat thoroughly and dry. Remove part of the fat, leaving just enough to cover the carcass is a thin layer of fat. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon salt inside the body. Fill with mixture of 2 teaspoon salt and remaining ingredients except pepper. Skewer the vent by inserting several toothpicks through the skin from side to side. Lace the string, tying the ends securely. Fasten both the forelegs and the hindlegs with toothpicks and string. If there are any lean parts on the outside of the body, fasten a small piece of the surplus fat to this part with a toothpick. Sprinkle with remaining salt and pepper. Put on side on ungreased rack in shallow baking pan and roast in the heated slow oven at 325°F for 45 minutes per pound. Turn when half done. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Fricasseed Squirrel

1 squirrel, cleaned and disjointed (gray squirrel recommended)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 slices of bacon, diced
1 small onion, sliced
1 1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup broth or water

Cut squirrel into 6 or 7 pieces. Rub with the salt and pepper and roll in flour. Fry slowly with bacon until browned. Add remaining ingredients, cover, and simmer for one hour, or until tender, adding more broth or water if necessary. Makes 4 servings.

And for any of you doing the Weight Watchers thing ~

3 1/2 oz. wild rabbit = 135 calories
3 1/2 oz. roasted raccoon = 255 calories
Sorry, no caloric information on the squirrel. But I bet however fattening it may be is worth every bite, just because the seasoning of “this one won’t be getting my tulip bulbs this year” will taste just divine.