Giving Birth To Spring – HeHeHeHe Hooooo HeHeHeHe Hoooooo

Seeds ordered…. Check
Tomato plants ordered…. Check
New trees (Royal Empress Tree and Fragrant Tea Olive) ready to be planted…. Check
Container garden ready to be moved outside…. Check
Warm weather…. Damn

Pregnant BellyYou know, I am doing my part here. I have everything ready to go. I think the least that Mother Nature could do is accommodate me a little.

Ok, so I am way, way early, but March is what I like to think of as the equivalent of the last month of pregnancy.

It has been my opinion that pregnancy lasts 1 month too long. That’s why we say it is 9 months when in fact it is closer to 10. We don’t want it to be 10 months, it is just one month too long. By week 36, you are ready for that baby to come out. You are the size of a blue whale, your back hurts, the baby thinks your bladder is a bouncy ball and your belly button is a speed bag. The prospect of pushing an eight pound (if you are lucky) “bundle-of-joy” out a hole that is a tenth its size suddenly seems like a fantastic deal.

This is March in Cleveland. The last month of pregnancy. Winter was cute way back in December, all pretty and exciting. But time goes on and it gets less fun and less fun (do you know what constant swollen ankles and hemorrhoids is like?) Then you get to March, and you are done. You are so, so, so, so, so, so done.

I am ready to start gardening. I’ve got the planting directions in hand and I am ready to meet my garden for this year. I’m ready for the labor. I have everything I need to be a caring, loving gardener. I promise I will love my garden with all my heart. JUST GET SPRING THE HELL HERE ALREADY!

11 thoughts on “Giving Birth To Spring – HeHeHeHe Hooooo HeHeHeHe Hoooooo
  1. Oldfart on

    THAT is a VERY PREGNANT PERSON!
    You can see from that image what all those vaguely rounded rocks they call fertility goddesses were all about.

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  2. You are exactly right. I’ve been ready for spring for awhile but this month is starting to really get to me. I’m paler than I’ve been all winter, exhausted, grumpy, on edge. All I can think about are my garden plans.

    I think I may actually go crazy before spring arrives!

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  3. Jack on

    We’re having a warm streak here in St. Louis (60 & 70s). I’m building two more raised beds tomorrow. I’ve peeled back the make-shift greenhouse cover on my other bed and letting my lettuce and spinach get some much deserved fresh air. Hopefully the dogs will stay out of the bed.

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  4. Here in Upstate NY we are still a few weeks away from the birth of spring. Experience shows that once you get that “Oooh, spring is on the way” feeling, there is probably at least one more shot of winter to deal with!

    The way I’ve been looking forward to spring here in upstate NY is ordering my gardening supplies. I went and put in my order for fertilizer and a couple of annuals at the local IGA, then I ordered my Woman’s Work women’s gardening gloves. I especially like these because they have a ventilated back and very tough fingertips. I gave away my last pair to a friend who was leaving for England, so now I need a fresh pair. Being an optimistic type, expecting early sun, I also ordered a new gardener’s sun hat (after the dog developed a taste for raffia!)…

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  5. I can see your point of comparing this time of year to the end of a pregnancy. This time of year, we’ll get these deceptively warm days here and there. Those are like false labor pains.
    Good luck making it though the wait!

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  6. Try living in northern MN sometime. :( We never have any idea when ‘spring’ will actually get here – last year I couldn’t put my tomatoes in until July!

    (But once we get it we really do have the most wonderful summer season – to be fair – it is just VERY pokey about getting here and way too short-lived!)

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  7. Hanna,

    Spring will be sooo good when it gets here…. right after the somewhat traditional ( last two year’s running ) good friday opening day snow storm.

    On the other hand it will give me more time to get the rest of my garden orders placed. So far on order and one trade, and still way too much naively unsuspecting green mulch ( aka grass ) cluttering up potential garden space.

    I will stimulate the economy, the real green part of the ecomomy, the garden. And in the process I will get out into the garden and away from the news media….

    oh yeah – hurry spring

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  8. Same feelings here! But, I will probably have to wait longer than you. Loved your comparison.

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  9. Here is my form of treating the symptoms – Today I bought some grocery store tulips…. Like a 9 month pregnancy – Spring is almost here and then the real work starts…

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  10. April M on

    LOLOLOL*SNORT*LOL… blow nose to remove coffee … AAAHAHAHAHAH.. wipe tears from eyes..

    WAY too funny! Particularly accurate, which makes it even funnier.

    Having done the pregnancy wait 3 times and the spring wait 44 times… I pick the spring wait.. (especially with that picture as a reminder!!!)

    This is my first year as a New England gardener… spring better hurry because my transplants are almost ready… LOL

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  11. That’s the same thing that my sister did! She keep small potted plants inside during the winter. Then she cross planted it all in the spring. She eventually got a landscaper because she became pregnant. Our lawn care was the best on the block because of her and the landscaping service we used.

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