Note to self (and apparently all of you since I am posting this here), when they say “organicâ€ mulch, they do not mean that it was made from chemical-free trees. When the lady on the phone said “Do you want the organic mulch?Â It is excellent stuff.â€ I should have asked what organic meant. I assumed and you know what that stands for. Â Your neighbors get pissy because your yard smells like a cow’s ass.
I should have suspected that something was up when it was the cheapest mulch on the list. Delivery to your home, Â½ price even. Well, duh. The landscaping company wanted to get rid of it as much as my neighbors do.
I know cow manure is good for your garden, but I could have sworn composted manure did not stink. So why does mulch with cow manure stink?Â These are the mysteries I am pondering this week. That and who will replace Simon Cowell. We all know that is urgent to the functioning of the universe.
Second note to self — Do not have organic mulch delivered to your house the day before Memorial Day weekend. While organic mulch may do wonders for your flower beds and you will have 3 whole days to work on spreading it out, it does not greatly improve the taste of hamburgers and hotdogs. The smell apparently has quite the opposite effect.