It’s Earth Day again… The day on which I feel I am compelled by internet peer pressure to post something (thank god they are not pressuring me to drink, I do enough of that already). Which makes me unhappy. I don’t like that gardening and environmentalism are supposedly tied hand in hand.

Gardening is a hobby and environmentalism is a cause. One should not be thought linked to a cause simply because one is participating in a hobby.

So, in honor of Earth Day and because it has been on my mind lately, I have a rant about environmentalism… again.

Since when did being environmentally friendly require attempting to max out your credit card?

Buy a Prius, buy a green house, buy bamboo shirts (never mind that cotton has been a renewable resource for centuries) and, for gods sake, buy organic foods. Ignore the fact that none of these really follows the old mantra of Reduce Reuse Recycle. Anytime you are buying something new, you are adding to the overall problem, no matter what you buy.

Buy something new (even environmentally friendly new) and the chances are really high that it still uses materials that were mined or created from dangerous chemicals or transported thousands of miles. If your old car/house/shirt was still perfectly serviceable and than it is still contributing to the “supposed” problem, whether still in use by another person or filling up a landfill. So what exactly got fixed? You did not fix anything but now you look cool, ‘cause you are just so damn green.

I guess I am just wondering when people got to be environmentally trendy instead of environmentally friendly. Actually, I sometimes wonder if they ever were anything but.

I suppose it goes hand and hand with last year’s rant about not feeling good enough for environmentalists. The mindset seems to be if are not spending, you are not supporting. What was I thinking? I could spend everything I have and go out and buy my self into environmental compliance. Gee, like country, like citizen.

I am not sure when the phrase went from being “Reduce Reuse Recycle” to “Buy Brag Buy More”, but it is time to stop shopping and start paying attention. The environmental movement is now officially killing people. Perhaps we would be much better off using fully what we already have made and making less of what will supposedly save the planet (but only if you buy today for the low, low price of $19.95.)

In case you forgot (which I normally do), you need to change your clocks tonight. It’s that whole Spring ahead thing, though thanks to the overzealous efforts of Congress, the earlier date ensures that it does not much look like spring outside.

They released a study recently that shows that Daylight Savings Time (as suspected) has completely and utterly failed at saving anything. It turns out that Indiana’s long time stance that “the cows still get up at the same time regardless of the clock” was right except that it took them thinking they were wrong to prove it. Such a shame, as we are now stuck with a national albatross around our neck.

Daylight savings time started out as a joke. Ha-ha. That good old Ben Franklin sure knows how to make fun of people (though, making fun of the French is not too hard, even in the modern era) but he was just kidding right? Change the clocks so that we don’t use as much resources… Pshaw… That will never catch on.

But like life, stupidity will find a way. And now we change our clocks twice a year.

During WWII, it made sense. We needed lights out. We needed darkness to evade the possible enemy. We needed to feel like we were sacrificing something because the boys overseas were sacrificing so much. But the fact of the matter is, all we are sacrificing these days is an hour’s sleep and a late night TV infomercial.

Daylight Savings Time costs money, it costs lives and it is a pain in the ass. Write your local congressperson and tell them that this is one joke whose punch line is long past being funny.

Yesterday I had a lovely tour at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens led by Matt Edwards, who is the Gardens’ animal caretaker. I got to see and hear about several very cool things and, of course, look at all of the orchids they have for their Orchid Mania show.

In fact, there was so much information (and pictures), that I am going to split up the whole thing into a few manageable posts.

I thought that a good place to start would be to talk about why I think the CBG rocks. And why I think we should have to pay for things like the CGB.

In my last post, Melanie from Shaker Heights said:

Do you really think the Cleveland Botanical Gardens are EXCELLENT? I have a very negative attitude towards it since the remodel. I can remember going down there on a weeknight and taking a stroll thru the herb gardens….FOR FREE!!!!

Melanie is a wonderful gardener ( and she leaves many wonderful and thought provoking comments) and this is a very valid question. Why should we pay for a Botanical Garden that was free just a few years ago? What do we get out of it? Don’t we have better things to spend our money on? Do we?

The people of Cleveland may not realize how they have, for a very long time, benefited from an legacy of wealth, elegance and opulence that had its heyday back over a century ago. A long time ago, wealthy men (and their wives and children) built in Cleveland, through a small portion of the ginormus pile of money they had made off oil, steel and railroads, what they felt a sophisticated society should have. And so, we have Wade Oval plus many other amazing features in Cleveland.  The CBG is ultimately a remnant of that era.

Unfortunately, greedy men (ok, inept city council members - I guess history sometimes doesn’t change all that much) chased away those wealthy men and their lovely remnants of sophistication were left to fend for themselves.

And they did fend for awhile. They brought in donations and they pounded on the doors of companies in Cleveland, demanding, begging that they keep these legacies alive. They kept up the buildings and grounds so we the public could enjoy them for free, but they did not have the funds to improve and ultimately amaze.

The fact of the matter is, no matter how many volunteers you have, no matter how enjoyable something is, no matter how much the public loves and adores it, these places cost money to operate. Love is just not enough to pay an electric bill or bring in a new, fascinating, highly unusual exhibit. And in case we have forgotten (not that I think anyone here has forgotten, but some people reading are not from Cleveland), the number of companies and wealthy donors in Cleveland has gotten significantly smaller over the years and the number of organizations with their hands out imploring has only gotten larger.

I have no doubt that the CBG had to recreate itself or it was facing a slow but inevitable crawl into oblivion. They faced a difficult choice, remain the same (free) and eventually perish - or -  evolve (charge money) and thrive. And it has recreated itself beautifully.

We have no problem with paying $8 to see the latest action packed drivel to come out of Hollywood. And after two hours there, we are politely but firmly herded out of the theater. We will pay $20 - $200 for a single ticket to enjoy the excitement of a sports game, a Broadway musical or a rock concert, and after a few hours, again, we are asked to leave. Many of us will spend literally $1,000s of dollars to follow that magical dream of “We’re going to Disney World” which is really no more than a well run and glorified amusement park. And yet we balk at the cost of a ticket to share the wonder of nature, science, beauty and amazement.

And what an investment those things are! I can honestly say that I have had more “amazing” moments with my children at museums, zoos and gardens than I ever did at a movie. Just ask the grandma who was following her 7-year-old child off the elevator yesterday at the CBG. That little girl’s exclamation of “Grandma, it’s all so BEAUTIFUL!” when suddenly facing a room full of orchids, is something that never would have happened had it not been for the fact that the cost of their tickets helped make that show possible in the first place.

For the low, low price of $7.50 ($3 for children), you can wander the grounds for an entire day. The show starts and ends when you say (as long as you say it between the hours of 10AM and 5PM) and the show is limited only by nature. As gardeners, we know that means that there are no limits.

If you live here in Cleveland, be glad that the cost of the CBG is less than the cost of a movie. If you still live in a place where your local Conservatory or Botanical Gardens are free, remember that it costs money to operate and without your donation, it might not be there tomorrow. Drop a fiver or a ten spot into that donation box. Our gardens deserve our money more than any of those snobby actors out in Hollywood do.

Ok, in case you have not read the story (which is all over the news), take a minute to read it. Go on… I’ll wait.

Oh, good. You are back. Okay, so are you thinking what I am thinking? Like GOSH HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE BE?

Never mind that this woman was technically resisting an officer. Never mind that they actually drove her down to the police station because she did not want to give a police office her name. Let’s get down to what started this whole snafu in the first place.

A woman failed to water her lawn and she is being charged in court for this.

In Utah, which I might remind you is a state in constant conflict within itself and with its neighboring states over water rights.  In Orem, UT, which I believe is located in a desert.

A woman failed to water her lawn and she is being charged in court for this.

Tell me someone else is not shaking their head and wondering what sort of fucked up society we live in where a woman WHO LIVES IN A DESERT is charged with a crime because her lawn is brown.

I just want to point this is another reason why I cannot ascribe to the environmental movement anymore. The government can preach to me all day long about how I need to clean up my act as a good citizen, but I don’t think it is really fair that the government makes laws counter to this preaching. Don’t overuse your water on silly things, but by golly if you had better water that lawn or you will be facing some pretty stiff fines.

It is ridiculous. For god sakes… If I was on city council in Orem, I would be calling an emergency meeting and rescinding a few of these stupid lawn laws then apologizing as quickly as possible to this woman, the residents of Utah and the citizens of the US for being a mockery of the American justice system and the environmental movement in general.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to post today. As I said last year, this is one of those days where, as a gardener, I feel obligated to post something. And maybe that is the problem. I am feeling a little put out that I should feel that I need to post something.

One of the greatest gardening misconceptions on the internet is that all gardeners are environmentally savvy and we hug trees and we kiss flowers and we never, ever use nasty chemicals to make our flowers lovely. Gosh golly gee, Beav, if we’d all just be like those enviromental gardeners (because they are all enviromental, right? that’s why they garden after all), the world would have happy children everywhere and no one would ever die. And those evil people who don’t agree with us should just put a bullet in their head and make the world a better place.

I am getting a little tired of it. One can only take so much guilt before one feels they must run out to Mal-Wart, buy a big bag a fertilizer and bottle of pesticide just to feel like you have some control in your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not for all out chemical warfare on nature. I don’t use all that much fertilizer. I use compost where I can. I don’t use pesticides at all. And I use weed killers only when I have exhausted all the other non-chemical methods. I am a whole lot more conscious of my chemical use than the lady down the street who just had the ChemLawn truck spray and tag her yard. I believe that you should be responsible. And I feel that for the enviromental movement, this is not enough. I think I could live in a hut and never venture outside and that still wouldn’t be enough.

The environmental movement makes me feel like I am never doing enough and because of this, I don’t feel like playing with them anymore. Frankly, Ortho & Monsanto are much nicer to me. Hey, environmental movement, how about a little positive reinforcement once in awhile?!?

On top of that, I am beginning to get the same feeling for the environment that I have for politics. I am just disgusted by both sides. I feel like both sides lie to me and both sides treat me like I am some sort of sap. I remember very distinctly that when I was in grade school I was told that by this time, the rainforests would all be gone and we would all be crispy critters because the ozone would be so depleted. Not to mention that we would have no potable water and that all the baby seals would be dead and worn by all the most famous movie stars.

So what happened? Did we clean up our act enough to get through these crisises? Then how about someone pointing that out. A kind of “Atta Global Community”.

Or did the enviromental movement just lie about it all, exagerate it a little so that someone would pay attention? Or worse, did we play Chicken Little and buy into stories that the media fed us to get ratings?

I can only listen to the “Wolf! Wolf!” stories so many times before I begin to wonder how true they are. Perhaps the environmental movement should take this into account. At this point in time, it is becoming less and less likely I will listen to any crisis and I don’t think I am the only one. Remember what happen to the boy who cried wolf? So at this point in time, can you blame the world (and me) if they no longer want to listen?

I want to be part of the solution, I do, but first you have to help me feel like I am part of the solution and not just another part of the problem.

Several years ago, I made the decision to stop shopping at Mal-Wart. I have to be honest, it was a purely selfish reason. They tried to force me to use my debit card as a debit card. Aghast! The horror of this action.

I know, I know, they exploit millions of people and what does it take to get me to stop shopping there? It takes them trying to force me to pay a $1.50 bank fee rather them then paying $.30-.40 extra transaction fee.

Either way, I stopped shopping there. And I have to admit, my resolution was strengthened the more and more I heard about the atrocities that Mal-Wart colluded to.

But then I heard about a clandestine project that Mal-Wart has been working on for the past few months. Something so far reaching, so shocking that it could throw the environmental world into utter chaos.

Mal-Mart wants to Go Green, at least a little.

I was speechless, and you can ask anybody who knows me. Me being speechless about any company that has done me wrong is one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Here is the deal, yesterday was the day that Mal-Wart stopped accepting bids for a project that would put solar panels on all of their stores in five states.

ONLY FIVE STATES! Why not all 50 and in China as well? But before you go getting your panties in a wad, as it is with only five states, the size of this project could throw a giant widget into the cogs of the solar energy industry. The industry is simply not large enough to provide the products to Mal-Wart and still provide it to the rest of the country. But the solar energy industry is darn willing to try. At this size, the project would only disrupt the industry for a few months. Any larger and you start talking years.

Mal-Wart has kept this project very hush-hush because, well, they are not fully committed to it. They are kicking the tires and checking to see if solar energy is something they would like to drive. And I hope they do decide to buy, because you know what happens when the biggest Jones on the block gets a new car.

They say that it will reduce greenhouse gases (which we all know is not my biggest concern) but from my vantage point, this move would be a giant leap towards reducing dependence on non-sustainable forms of energy and reducing pollution as well.

But I am going to keep an eye on this story. If they actually go through with it, I may even stop calling them Mal-Wart.

I live in what is known as a Tree City, which is a designation given By the Arbor Day Society to cities who meet a few basic rules.

These Rules are:

1. They must have a Tree Department (Tree Department? I think that’s the Tax Department. They certainly kill enough of them with all those forms)
2. There must be a Tree Ordinance in effect in the city (We declare that there will be trees… of some kind… somewhere… as long as they don’t get in the way of important things… like parking lots)
3. They must spend at least $2 per resident on the care and planting of trees (Well, we invested the money into the squirrel breeding program. We thought that then the little guys could just plant the trees for us. Look, we even bought the squirrels some cute little t-shirts. The mayor’s daughter makes ‘em for us and they are only $36 each. We ordered 10,000)
4. They must observe Arbor Day in some manner (Look Jan, the calendar says it’s Arbor Day. I wonder why they have a day dedicated to pretty little garden arches?)

I personally think that the 4th one is a push on the Arbor Day Foundation’s part to bring more publicity to the whole Arbor Day thing, like candy companies trying coming up with Sweetest Day as a way to sell more candy (I don’t care if he said it was for the orphans. Somebody still bought more candy). But I suppose I can’t really pick on the Arbor Day foundation too much. They give out the Tree City designation, so I guess they can use it to promote whatever they want.

But back to my city being a Tree City.

I have to say, I have lived in this town for 5 years and I have never really heard about 1, 2 and 4 happening in around my city. But, in my mind, they really don’t mean too much as long as I see plenty of evidence of #3. Didn’t really see too much of that either… up until this past week.

In an ideal world, money on tree maintenance would be spent on nothing more than planting trees and Arbor Day celebrations. But trees are no different than any other plant in our own personal gardens. They need love. They get sick. They sometimes die. Sometimes, some moron with a tree size weed wacker (be it a car, a bull dozer or a volcano mulch) brings about the untimely death of a tree.

City trees really are just like huge plants in a city wide garden. Some live and flourish and they need care. Some die and when they do die, they must be replaced.

This past week, the city did just that.

Which caught me by surprise. As stated, I have lived here for 5 years and the only tree maintenance I saw was trees being removed. The only trimming I saw was when the electric company stopped by. And to say that the electric company “trimmed” the trees is kind of like saying Civil War battlefield surgeons performed surgery.

I really had thought that the city was just giving lip service to the whole Tree City thing. I watched in sad resignation as venerable old trees, damaged and eventually killed by careless contractors replacing sidewalks, came down one after another. And never a new tree to be seen to take their place.

Until this week.

Coming home one evening, I was greeted by an unfamiliar street. There were suddenly no gaps in the house tree house tree house stump staccato that I was use to. The low hanging branches of the tree on the hell strip in front of my house were gone, with only a few pale patches evidence that the branches ever existed. No longer would mothers with strollers have to duck and dodge while passing my house.

The city had planted trees. The city had trimmed the trees. Not hacked, but thought about it, only took what was necessary trimmed the trees.

I am impressed. And, what impresses me even more is that the trees they planted were investment trees. They are not the quick growing, fluezy, ornamental, fly-by trees frequently planted these days by suburban landscapers. You know, the crab apples and dogwoods that dazzle and wow you in just a few years but die off in under 20 and rarely get to a height taller than your average NBA player.

They planted maples. Yes, maybe maples are the faster growing of the investment tree types, but they planted a tree that was meant to be around for the long term. The kind of tree you could carve your initials in and be pretty sure that your great, great grand children would be able to see them. (Not that I would carve my initials in a tree. I know carving initial is not good for trees, but you get my drift.)

I don’t know what changed. Maybe it was just that someone threatened to pull their precious Tree City status if they did not do something. Maybe the Mayor’s grandchild just opened their eyes to the world environmentalism and bugged their Grandpa about it. Maybe, just maybe (though I am not holding my breath on this one) the city council just realized that planting trees is better for our community than building walls, Mal-Warts and new million dollar city halls.

Whatever the reason. I am glad to see it.

Gas at my local gas station was listed at $2.72 per gallon today. I make note of this because we are driving down to Cincy to visit my parents today. That is a pretty painful number to be looking at when embarking on a 5 hour trip.

As usual, when heading into farm country, think of the farmers. I have mentioned before that growing up among farmers has had influence on how I view the gardening world at large, including this gigantic garden we call the environment.

Today, as I am going past field after field of corn still rubbing my wallet after the beating it just took at the pump, I can’t help but wonder… What happened to ethanol?

Once, ethanol was touted as a way to reduce our dependency on foreign fuel. Cleaner burning, better for us, all round great Apple Pie kind of fuel. Now that we are paying the prices for foreign fuel dependency, all I hear about are hybrid cars.

Hybrid cars are great (or are they), but it’s going to take a few years or decades or even never before they become the norm on the road. What happened to ethanol as a short term bridge solution?

I know, I know. Ethanol is not the environmentally friendly wonder fuel that it was originally touted to be but it isn’t any worse than gasoline. As purely a reducer to foreign oil dependency we should be chasing after it, right? Even from the standpoint of the environment, it is a renewable, sustainable, non-invasive fuel source, which gasoline is not.

Hybrids still need gas, so why are we not working towards a FlexFule(ethanol)/electric hybrid rather than a gasoline/electric hybrid?

I don’t have the answers, just the question. And an empty wallet after leaving the gas pump.

If you have any romantic notions about country living, I am here to dispel them for you. Living in the country sucks… a lot. I should know, I spent 19 years experiencing it first hand. I learned two very important things while living here. A) That you can blow stop signs at 120 MPH only when the corn in the corn fields is under your sight line and B) cows deserve to be eaten.

I am at my parents’ house this weekend. My first visit back since the accident. My father’s hand is healing slowly but healing nonetheless, thank you for asking.

My parents are not farmers, but, when I was quite young, they made the choice to leave the more urban landscape of commuting distance from NYC to come live in the rural supposed bliss of farm country Ohio. Somehow I think I got the shaft on this move.

I grew up going to school with farm hands and 4-H members. Future Farmers of America was (and is) still an active club at my high school. The county fair really was about who raised the biggest pig and the tears that came after because you did not.

Growing up among farmers teaches you a few things about gardening and growing things. Most of those lessons have to do with how easily things don’t grow, no matter how much money you spend or how long you have been growing things or how much you really need them too grow. I saw more than one rainy spring or dry summer ruin a crop for the year. I have seen more than a few farms close their doors forever because there was just one too many seasons like that. Gardening as a hobby is fun. Gardening for a living is a little scary.

Growing up among farmers has also shaped many of my views on organic and non-organic growing. There are things you can do (and should) on a small scale in a home garden that just are not monetarily feasible in a large scale farming operation. Compost is always one of the first to come to mind. Looking out over a full sized Ohio corn field (which is just a spit on the ground compared to a Nebraska corn field), I cannot even imagine how you would spread compost over that much ground and where that much compost would come from to begin with.

That, combined with the fact that most farms in the US are not growing direct to consumer food products, unless we start eating organically fed meat, buying organically made plastics and using organically enriched gasoline, your average farmer has very little incentive to grow organically. Their profit margin is slim as it is and a farmer selling ethanol corn will not be doing so for long if he can’t compete price wise.

Along comes GM corn which greatly reduces the need for chemicals and we pitch a fit about that too. We really need to make up our minds on what we want from rural America. Less chemicals, cheap food, cheap products, small farms… these things do not fit well into the same equation. The small farmer just can’t do the math on that one and so they do the best they can until they just can’t anymore.

Yep, country living sucks. It’s a romantic notion to say otherwise. Cows are not cute. Lazy summer days get real boring, real quick. And large scale organic farming is not something as easy as spreading the compost from the worm bin out back

Agent Codename: 00-DAHLIA

Target:

Objective: Remove excessive amount of weeds that have grown in this flower bed.

Agent’s Debriefing:
My husband forgot to turn of the alarm clock this morning so I was up at 6:30am. Normally, this would earn my husband a solid elbow to the back (because of course he never wakes up to his alarm clock) but today I figured I might as well go ahead with my guerrilla gardening plans. My target was the Maple Heights Historical Society. It is an old red schoolhouse and is maintained as a museum. I suspected that the building was run only by volunteers and precious few at that. The flower beds were probably not their main priority and so the beds had gotten to the state it was currently in.

If you are planning on doing something like this, here are a few things that I considered:

• Bring a cell phone. This may seem like this is all for fun, but the fact of the matter is that you are doing something that is not quiet legal. Guerrilla gardening frequently takes place in many areas that may not be the safest. A cell phone will make sure you are able to get in contact with someone should you need to.
• Park your car where you can see it. Sometimes, when people see vehicles they don’t recognize and in people doing things they don’t understand, they get spooked. You don’t what to have your car towed while you are doing this.
• Make sure you have some kind if ID on you. Back to the whole, technically you are trespassing thing. If the police do stop, they are more likely to be more sympathetic towards your efforts if you can prove that you have no outstanding warrants.

I got to the location and was dismayed to find that it was not just a bad infestation of quackgrass. The bed had been taken over by Canada thistle and bindweed as well. It was going to be a long morning. I pulled 5 overflowing 25 gallon bucket fulls of weeds. The problem is that the quackgrass will just come back without some kind of barrier laid down. I have to think about that.

COVERT OPERATIONS COMPROMISED!

The woman who takes care of the building showed up. She actually didn’t even blink an eye at me doing what I was. She smiled and waved at me then went into the building with her arms full of cleaning supplies. A little later, she, her husband and daughter came over to talk to me. She told me (as I suspected) that it was just her and two other very elderly women who cared for the property. It is hard for them to get to all the things that they need to get done. She even said that really, the landscaping is suppose to be taken care of by the city. No luck with that.

I offered to bring some plants from my yard this week and plant the flowers in the bed. I have a few that should work well as they are low maintenance and hardy. They are also the kind that can compete with and even choke out the weeds.

For today, I can say my mission is accomplished. The weeds were cleared out of the bed and it looks much better.

Later this week I will get over there and plant some flowers. I also told the woman I would stop by occasionally during the summer to take care of the beds around the place.

All in all, it was good. For the next mission, I will see if I can’t set up a meeting place so if anyone who stops by here wants to help, they can. I will have to keep my eye out for a good place to garden at.

This is Agent 00-DAHLIA signing off. This webpage will self-destruct in 10 seconds.