Hydrangea: The Garden Jerk

My hydrangea is now in full bloom and mine blooms on the blue side of the hydrangea color spectrum.

I have worked hard over the past five years to keep my hydrangea dressed in blue. Most of my neighbors have pink flowers, but I took this hue matter into my own hands.

There is a virtual arsenal of rusty nails and saw blades buried at the roots of that bush. Heaven help the future owner of my house who tries to remove that plant. Perhaps it is a modern hydrangea survival adaptation that makes it so that rusty nails will help to keep a hydrangea blue.

By the way, it is the aluminum content, not the soil’s acidity that determines the hydrangea flower’s color. The soil’s acidity just either helps or hinders aluminum adsorption.

My hydrangea came with my house when I bought it and is one of the few things left from the original landscape. And it was also one of the only things the previous homeowner kept from the homeowner before her. That makes my hydrangea over 20 years old, maybe even much older. According to my neighbor, almost all the hydrangea bushes on the block are descended from my bush. This is not surprising as hydrangea are very easy to propagate from cuttings.

There is always been one thing that bugs me about hydrangea and that is that they are considered in the Language of Flowers to mean boastful, braggart and heartless. Who would have thought that such a pretty thing would be such a jerk? Ah well, I should not be surprised. I had more than a few ex-boyfriends who fell into that category too.

There is a reason behind its negative reputation though. It’s because most hydrangeas are flower eunuchs, which is a polite way of saying that they have the apparatus, but not the means to produce seeds. The Victorians (who invented the flower language) distrusted a flower that was so big and beautiful but were for show only.

Well, as long as my hydrangea does not go breaking my heart, I will keep it around. Aw heck, who am I kidding? The more boastful my hydrangea bush is, the more I will love it.