Gardening is Hell On a Wardrobe

Well, that does it. I just did in my last pair of jeans that still had clean knees. I didn’t mean to.

I was just walking into the house, groceries in arms and clean jeans on. But I spotted the spiky rosette of an emerging dandelion. Can’t have that and if I get it now it means less later on. So I just bent over to pull it out and…

…wouldn’t you know it. There was a stem of quackgrass popping out. And you know how quackgrass is. You see one blade of that stuff and you know that there are just another dozen of them hidden around the area. They are like insurgents or something. I just set the grocery bags down on the porch. But I got to be careful of my jeans. These are the last pair of jeans that the knees are not stained. I can squat to get the quack grass…

Aw, damn it, a thistle. I see a thistle. Those things have tap roots like a the you know what of John Holmes. Longer than any plant has a need for. Get a good grip. Tug. Grunt. Adjust. Need some leverage. Kneeling for a second won’t stain the knees. Ugg, the root broke. Well, maybe that will be enough.

And the wild garlic. My god, have they been crossed with rabbits to multiply like that. Maybe if I dig a bit under them, I can get the whole clump… And there is another… and another…

Twenty minutes later, I realize that the last pair of jeans I own that didn’t have stained knees can no longer claim that glory. Maybe the Oxiclean can help me out with this again.