The past six months have been, well, let’s just say… interesting. Mainly because an accurate description would be rather expletive filled and that’s just not a polite way to start out a post (but here is your warning that later on in this post I may be using them in earnest). I won’t go into details, just because that just makes me sound whiny and pathetic but I can say that I have learned 2 very important words in these past 6 months and they are “I CAN’Tâ€. Wait, is that 3 words?Â Do contractions count as more than one word?Â Oh never mind, that is not the point.
In our society, we put a premium on the words “I CANâ€. We tell our children that they can do anything. We read them stories about persistent locomotives and winning tortoises that instills in them this idea that we are like super heroes that can leap tall buildings and save the world all while maintaining perfect hair and a happy-happy smile. I grew up on these things and I have to say that up until recently, I thought that was right. I could do it all. I could do everything I wanted and more.
Then life got fucking complicated. I mean really fucking complicated. (Not whining, just saying… and I warned you)
And I learned that it is okay to say “I can’tâ€. I can’t be the bestest den mom ever, heck I can’t even be a bad den mom right now. I can’t bake a 1,000 cookies and then show up with pearls on, not that I ever wore pearls. I can’t pull off the most sunning public speaking presentation ever. I can’t be all that and a bag of chips. I just can’t. And you know what, that is ok. I am not Super Mom and Master of The Universe wrapped all into one. I am a woman with kids, a business, a house and a garden. That is damn impressive enough.
At first, using the magic words “I can’tâ€ is painful. After all, you are disappointing the locomotives and tortoises of the world and let me tell you from first-hand experience,Â tortoises can look very disappointed in you when they want to. But the more you use it, the more you realize that they are words of power. It is how you come to take control of all the things that really matter and discard the crap that everyone else made you think was important. The words “I can’tâ€ are the 1-800-GOT-JUNK of your hoarders like time schedule.
And now it is spring (well not really, but if Mother Nature seems to think it is spring, then who am I to argue with her?) and the question for me now is what do I say “I can’tâ€ to in the garden.
But while asking myself this question, I also realize that “I can’tâ€ can also be a transformative phrase.
For example, due to my circumstances this year, I can’t start seeds in the house (well, I could but they are likely to be made into a toddler facial) but that does not mean I can’t start seeds. A quick search on the internet reveals directions for handy homemade greenhouses. “I Can’tâ€ is not a failure, it is an invitation to be creative.
I can’t get out in the garden as much this year either. But, there are a lot of things I don’t like to do in the garden. Weeding is nice in moderation, but having to do it daily sucks. So how can I remove weeding from the equation and focus on what I really want to do in the precious little time I have in the garden?Â I am personally thinking of hiring a hot, young gardener to do it for me, but I think the hubby may take exception to that. Regardless, “I can’tâ€ is not a defeat, Â it is a light shining bright on my time.
It’s been a tough (but rewarding) six months. I cannot tell you what the next six months will bring either. But I can say that I am now fully armed with a few choice words to get me through it— the 4 letter kind and I can’t.